ATTN: David Tracy, my XJ is for sale

Kinja'd!!! "JEM" (jem)
11/15/2016 at 23:39 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!2 Kinja'd!!! 13
Kinja'd!!!

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Dearest David Tracy,

It is with much regret that I must inform you that I have to sell my Jeep XJ. I realize what pain this must cause you as yet another fine 4.0L specimen goes upon the list of craig. In this case, I feel it is imperative to pint (nope, keeping that typo) this listing out to you as I feel it will fulfill a number of your requirements:

1996 Jeep Cherokee Sport - 5 speed - 4.0L

Rust free

Working heater

Just enough things to keep you busy, but not enough to keep you from getting to work safe and warm

Just far enough of a drive from MI to MA to make it a proper adventure for you.

I do have to note that the price is far above your normal operating number of less than $1000 USD. As the seller and an avid reader of your writings, I am willing to negotiate heavily on this for you, and only you. And you will have free access to my tools and supple hands for any repairs you deem fit to make, should you be interested in buying this and driving it back.

Yours truly,

JEM.


DISCUSSION (13)


Kinja'd!!! For Sweden > JEM
11/15/2016 at 23:56

Kinja'd!!!0

No

Let Bob buy this Jeep


Kinja'd!!! Ike > JEM
11/16/2016 at 00:03

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jem you’re outrageous truely truely outrageous


Kinja'd!!! JEM > Ike
11/16/2016 at 00:12

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* star earring not included in purchase price

really though, those are my initials. As a male kid growing up in the 80s, I hated it. Now, I fucking rock that shit.


Kinja'd!!! JEM > For Sweden
11/16/2016 at 00:13

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Bob?

Dobbs?

From Twin Peaks?


Kinja'd!!! iSureWilll > JEM
11/16/2016 at 00:18

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Glamour and glitter.

Fashion and fame.


Kinja'd!!! For Sweden > JEM
11/16/2016 at 00:26

Kinja'd!!!1

https://twitter.com/RSorokanich


Kinja'd!!! JEM > For Sweden
11/16/2016 at 00:44

Kinja'd!!!0

Oh by all means sure! If you’re on twitter (I’m not) feel free to tweet this at him.


Kinja'd!!! The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > JEM
11/16/2016 at 02:30

Kinja'd!!!1

Rust free? It’s already too good for him.


Kinja'd!!! shop-teacher > JEM
11/16/2016 at 07:15

Kinja'd!!!2

This is like waving crack in front of the doors to a rehab center. It’s not even fair.


Kinja'd!!! StndIbnz, Drives a MSRT8 > JEM
11/16/2016 at 08:34

Kinja'd!!!3

He has been alerted. You are welcome.

Also, have you seen his driveway?? This is the last thing he needs because of the following:

1. Rust Free: He won’t drive it in the winter because he is afraid to get rust on it (see his rust free ‘96 5 speed that he won’t drive in the winter and is selling).

2. It doesn’t need enough work, he likes a good project that can sit in his driveway for years...... ;-)

3. Idk, he will probably actually buy this and just stare at it while the $600 one keeps on keeping on.


Kinja'd!!! diplodicus > JEM
11/16/2016 at 08:53

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If I lived in MA I’d buy this, in need of a winter vehicle right now.


Kinja'd!!! David Tracy > JEM
11/16/2016 at 10:24

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Holy crap, no holes in the rocker panels!

Oh gosh, I’m having visions of swapping Swiss Cheese’s engine and entire suspension into this. Then I’d have a lifted 5-speed with 3.55s and not much rust— the American dream! 

But I really shouldn’t.

Then again, five-speed with no rust.

But it’s really far away.

Then again, five-speed with no rust.

But then I won’t have a winter beater.

Then again, five-speed with no rust.

But I have too many projects.

Then again, five-speed with no rust.

I need to save the money for my CJ Moab project.

Then again, five-speed with no rust.

I already have a nice five-speed that I’m selling!

Then again, five-speed with no rust.

Four Jeep XJs would be insane!

Then again, five-speed with no rust.

What will the neighbors think?

Then again, five-speed with no rust.

But....

Oh gosh. I’m having a meltdown. CTL ALT DELETE, SYSTEM REBOOT.

xkjaiohfoianfklnadfioahdfioajofamfa


Kinja'd!!! JEM > David Tracy
11/16/2016 at 11:35

Kinja'd!!!1

Ahahahaha!! Thank you, that was even more hysterical than I could have imagined.

And yeah, when I was taking pics I was like “hmm... what do I take a pic of to show the condition?” Oh right, rust free rockers, duh.